Idiot and Homunculus Prologue

"Bloody hell, is that him?" Whispered an elderly man to the others at his table.

"I reckon...ain't neva seen a man that big, no way, no how." Replied a dark-skinned young man with a dew rag on his head and a joint between his lips.

"Oy, ya right there ya are, Sammy." A third individual felt the need to put in his two cents. "I reckon that man's a bloomin' movin' wall he is! Oy, Tobias, why not ask 'im if he'll take up the mission you been panderin'?" The question was directed to the fourth man at the booth, a young man whom was drawing frantically on some notes of his. The advanced algorithms and unique diagrams suggested a marionette-based formula, but only Tobias "Four-Eyes" Thompson could know for sure just what the chickenscratch notes and hieroglyphic diagrams actually said. The bespectacled man didn't look up from his notes, too absorbed in his work to actually know what was going on.

"Hey, Four-Eyes!" The first man spoke loudly, placing a wrinkled hand on the sheet of paper that Tobias was currently assaulting with his ink-quill in hand. This caused a nervous looking Tobias to look up from his notes and regard the eldest of their group quizzically. His shy nature did nothing to mask his non-verbal demand for an explanation. The old codger simply smirked in a cocky manner, and leaned in, speaking under his breath.

"Assumin' yer little gimick works, wouldn't you prefer the strongest opponent you can get? That hot-head and chilly britches, they're good I reckon, but they're small time. If you'd like, I got somethin' better~"

Tobias was clearly interested in the man's words, but his navy-blue gaze had changed from curious to skeptical.

"Old man, didn't you hear what those two did? They slayed the wharrgarbl or whatever it was called. The one that was making all the trouble." Tobias half-lectured, always aware of the gossip spreading about the bounty offices.

"If ya'd shut yer trap for just a min, you'd notice that The Invincible Hero is here, in this very office." The old man said, causing Tobias to drop his disbelieving stare for an almost expressionless visage. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and -nervously, almost reluctantly- he looked off to the side. Sure enough, Tobias caught a fleeting glimpse of the mountain of a man. That sheer stature was enough to confirm his speculation: Jack Rakan was actually in this very office...and to the young inventor, this was the opportunity of a life time.

"Ya, but ya betta' be careful, mon!" Warned dew-rag. "I hearin' that he charges out the ass, ya know?"

"So, he's...homosexual?" Asked Tobias, completely caught off guard by this possible revelation.

No sooner had the words left his mouth, than a black blur came flying towards them. The object collided mercilessly into the table, splintering the large, round surface. Glass shards, splinters of wood as long as a foot, and alcohol went everywhere. Tobias's notes were scattered about the area, lost among the debris of the table. Four pairs of eyes turned to regard the direction they believed the object had come from. Ominously, a path had opened up between the crowd of people in the office, and Jack Rakan, who now stood to his full height and leered in their direction.

Thud

Jack Rakan took a huge step, casual in his own right but covering a lot of ground due to his natural height and hasty rhythm. The four men turned nervously to regard the object now lodged in the floor of the bounty office: a huge, oddly-shaped sword...a sword that must have weighed well over a ton...figuratively speaking, of course. Still, it would have taken at least two of the men at the table to even budge the blade from its new position.

Thud

The entire office seemed to shake as Rakan took another step, now upon the table of four. He exhaled sharply through his nostrils, looking down menacingly upon the group of four. One huge hand came down, and gripped the collar of poor Tobias between five huge fingers. Tobias was lifted out of his booth, and high into the air. Rakan didn't even struggle to perform this feat, his golden eyes focused on the bespectacled gaze of Tobias. Needless to say, Tobias was pale as a ghost and didn't even contemplate struggling or -god forbid- trying to actually resist.

"You!" Rakan practically bellowed, clearly upset...and -considering he was quite intimidating even when he wasn't upset- the frail nerd within his grasp was straining to not piss his pants. "I have nothing against such a lifestyle choice, but don't you ever insinuate that [u]I[/i], Jack Rakan, am a homosexual! That is a grave insult to me, for it robs me of one of life's greatest pleasures: that of a female companion! Sir, do you not appreciate the beauty of our superiors? The fairer sex, my boy!?" Rakan demanded passionately, now causing some patrons and the security officers to feel embarrassed for the behemoth. He wasn't insulted at being labeled gay, but rather at what being gay would rob him of. The bespectacled man in Rakan's grasp frantically tried to calm him down.

"Alright, sir, alright!" The four-eyed scientist replied. "I understand! I just didn't understand the expression my friend here used!" He pleaded, and slowly it dawned on Rakan that this was all a misunderstanding. Ten minutes later, the four men -and Rakan- were squeezed into a new booth with a new table, three or four workers struggling to remove Rakan's blade from the ground. It was a huge claymore, but was lodged halfway into the ground...and, to top it all off, the blade itself was not even chipped. Rakan sat at the new table, and took a swig of the beer the scientist had bought him to make up for the misunderstanding. Apparently, though, the four men had decided Rakan would be the ideal person to test out something the scientist was working on.

Tobias cleared his throat as Rakan lowered his mug to the table, and luckily the gesture caught Rakan's attention. The behemoth grinned jovially, and let out a loud: "Ha!" of triumphant laughter.

"Alright, my boy! I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid!" Rakan began, perplexing the oldest man and dew-rag. "You want something from me...anyone who buys Jack Rakan a drink wants something~ From the looks of it, you're a medical-nin, right?" Rakan deduced, provoking a quiet smile from Tobias.

"That's half-correct. I am a ninja, and I am a medic...but what I'm working on now has little -if anything- to do with actual medicine. I'm also a sealing expert, and what I want you to do is take part in a little experiment of mine." The shy and nervous pretense had been dropped, apparently a facade. Rakan kept his usually short attention span elongated as he listened to four-eyes. "I want you, Jack Rakan, to do something for me..."

Tobias quietly trailed off into a whispered proposal, unheard by any save for Rakan and Tobias's three companions.